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Posted in You | February 2015

And gosh darn it, people like you!

Almost everyone struggles with feelings of low self esteem at some point in their lives, and poor health, trauma and difficult life events can all contribute to a lack of self confidence. But it’s important to try to banish those negative feelings about yourself because that self-directed negativity can affect your relationships with friends and family, and even impact your job and your health.

It’s harder to tear down something that is continually being built up, so try these suggestions for boosting your self esteem:

  • Get a journal and write down a list of your personal strengths, achievements and all the things you admire about yourself. Read your list every morning, and add to it whenever you can. Reminding yourself that you are an amazing person with a lot to offer the world—especially on days when you’re struggling—is an important way to confirm your worth.
  • Sometimes it can seem as though we have failed a lot during our lives, but that’s because we tend to remember negative experiences more than positive ones. Take a moment to think of the ways you’ve risen above a difficult situation and give yourself a mental pat on the back for the strength and perseverance you showed.
  • Quiet negative self talk. We are our own worst critics, which means that chances are you’ve muttered things like, “You’re so stupid!” or “You look fat in that shirt” to yourself at some point in your life. Make an effort to stop berating yourself and start treating yourself with the respect you deserve. If you wouldn’t let another person say mean and hurtful things to you, so don’t let yourself do it either.
  • Wear things that make you feel good about yourself. When you feel comfortable and confident, that confidence will be evident to everyone around you.
  • Make a point of treating yourself with the respect you deserve by doing something you enjoy everyday. Maybe it’s 15 minutes of uninterrupted time with a good book and a cup of tea, a brisk walk, a phone call to a friend or some creative time doing your favorite hobby. You are important. Make time for the things that nourish your soul.
  • Whenever possible, stay away from people that treat you badly or make you feel bad about yourself. For those times when you have no choice but to spend time with negative people, detox by reading your list of personal strengths and achievements when you get back home. Remember, the unkind things people say about you is actually more a reflection of how they may feel about themselves.

Someone once said, “To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.” Everyone has value and everyone contributes to the world in ways both big and small. You can’t always rely on others to recognize your beauty and value, so be your own cheerleader and build yourself up so that no one is ever able to tear you down.

For more suggestions and help building self-esteem and self-confidence, visit The Mayo Clinic and Psychology Today.


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